good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Why is your signature on my underwear?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
