you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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