guys are only as good as the porn they watch
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
