she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
