We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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