Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Your cock deserves a montage
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
