yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
