I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
