What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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