I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
