Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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