dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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