he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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