He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
