I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She is in my trunk
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
