That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
