Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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