I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
They are going to name an STD after you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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