I cockslap morals
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
