Duck Duck Cougar?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
