Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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