it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
