Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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