I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
