To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
