i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
