I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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