The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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