Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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