She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
