thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
