I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
