My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didn't notice because vodka
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
