He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
