someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
