Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
