youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
