I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
