i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
