You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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