You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
