I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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