Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You've changed since you got that strap on
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
