You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
