Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Too much gin, very little bucket
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
did i just pee glitter
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
