Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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