i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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