She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
