wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
