We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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